Wouldn’t you love to know how to start living your dream life? I’d like to start by saying that in no way do I have this completely sussed. However, in the last year I have secured a permanent job which both supports me financially and leaves me enough time to pursue my dream. I am also now a registered childminder which is my backup incase I lose my employed job for any reason, have started one new business and am about to opening my second. A year ago my life was very different and I had pretty much hit rock bottom, emotionally, mentally and financially. So, as I say, I am no expert, but I can do it I’m sure you can too.
Update: My own businesses are now able to support me so I have now been able to quit my employed position to fully focus on growing my own them. This was always my intention as it means the time I work is much more flexible, it now does not matter when I work as long as I get the hours in somewhere. It also now gives me the flexibility to live anywhere without disrupting my income which was a necessity for my dream life.
Step 1- Improve your mindset
The most important thing that you can do in the beginning is to realise that it is possible to be living your dream if you are prepared to put aside every excuse you can think of, all the reasons you can’t and fully focus all your energy into making it happen despite your current circumstances. For a high majority of people there is never a “right time” and it will be not easy, no one will hand it to you on a plate. I truly believe any goal is possible, just that the bigger the goal the more energy, determination and commitment it will require to achieve.
This is the step most people stop trying at. They will tell themselves a multitude of things that make them believe their dream is impossible. Statements such as (not an extensive list):
* I don’t have the time.
* I do not have enough money.
* If only I was younger/healthier.
* I do not have the skills I need.
* If only I lived nearer to (a person, place etc) that would make this possible.
Does sounds like you? If it does, no problem, this post should help you realise that living your dream really is possible. All you have to do (and this sounds far more simple than it is) is to either say yet at the end of any statement that starts “I do not”. Nothing in life is constant; we are in a state of constant change. Any statement that starts “If only” leads to two questions, why can’t I and why do I need to be. There are always alternative solutions, finding them and putting them into place is the way to move forwards.
Step 2- Know what living your dream really looks like
Visualise your dream, know it, feel it, live with it. This way you will truly understand your dream, knowing exactly what it is you wish to achieve.
Without this step it’s like you have a title but no content. What living your dream will be is unique to you. You need to really understand your dream for yourself, it’s you that needs to create it so you need to know what to create, down to every tiny detail.
The great thing about this step is once you believe it and can see it (at least in your mind) you can start to feel excited and inspired. This is the place I come back to each and every time I feel like it’s all too much and have no idea how to move forwards. It’s the single most motivating thing you can do.
Be brave, tell others your dream. Obviously be careful not to say so much that someone else steals your ideas, but enough so that you have said it out load. This helps to concrete the idea. Not everyone will be completely positive and not all will support you, however many will and you are not asking for their permission (or even their support) you are only sharing your thoughts.
Step 3- Get organised
Now you believe you can be living your dream and you have a vision of how it will look, it’s time to put all that down on paper.
Create two sheets. First one is your vision. In any form you wish whether a list, spider diagram, pictures and photos or a combination. I recommend making it pleasing to look at but other than that in the form you want to, again it’s your vision, you need to work with it no one else. The second is a list of issues to overcome to enable you to live your dream. This makes you break each obstacle down into more manageable chunks.
Step 4 – Research what is needed to start living your dream
Now is time to research. With the internet these days it’s possible to find out pretty much all you need to know. Go through all the things you think you need. If you know you need to find money then find out how much you actually do need, don’t assume. If you need certain skills find out how you could acquire them.
Please remember though that everyone ‘s experience is different. When looking on the internet to find figures try to get a general idea from a few different places. Your situation will not be the same as their’s so don’t assume their costs will be the same as yours.
Some things you will be able to do yourself, others you may need to pay someone to do for you. Remember you also have skills that although may not be relevant to your own current needs may be used in exchange for a skill you need. For example you may be great at taking photos and you find someone who needs a photo shoot and knows how to set up a website which you need. Arrange to do a photo shoot for them in exchange for them setting up your website. It sounds too good to be true but it does happen. As long as both parties gain from the exchange, everyone wins and no money needs to exchange hands. Living your dream could help someone else live their dream too.
Step 5 – Make a plan
Now you have a list of obstacles and you have researched how big they are you can start to tackle them. Tackle just one at a time- break it down into smaller parts if needed. It’s always better to achieve 1 tiny goal than to achieve nothing as it was all way too overwhelming.
Most people will have the obstacle of money so I will start by addressing this. In the last step I wrote about research and finding out exactly how much is needed. Costs should also be itemised so you can look at how much you need for what. So, for example you need £1000 to get started and £40 of this is for an online course. Finding £40 for something is a lot less intimidating than finding £1000 isn’t it? Added benefit in this is that you also remove the obstacle of not having one of the skills needed. So how do you find £40?
This I understand may well be still a lot of money to you. However, this could be £10 a month saved over 4 months or sell something you no longer need. Most people can find some bits if they look through drawers and cupboards. Is there a non-essential you can cut down on or give up? Look at your current monthly spend, are there any savings to be made there? Are you paying too much for utilities or a membership you have forgotten to cancel but never use?
Lack of time is another thing that a lot of people allow to stop them. Time can be treated much like money, break all the tasks down into bitesize pieces. A little extra time can be found in anyone’s lifestyle, get up 10 min earlier, skip watching a TV program, spend 10 min less doing your hobby each day. Get organised- do you waste time? Again just a few mins a day soon adds up, 10 min over 6 days is a hour. This is an hour more you spent on you dream before you found that extra 10 min. In 1 month that’s an extra 5 hours you have created.
Now yes I am suggesting you change things in your life, you give things up and you make sacrifices, but only if you want to live your dream. It’s totally up to you, no one other than you can make this work. Remember with each penny you put aside, each minute you find and each obstacle you learn how to overcome you make another positive step in the direction of your dream.
Apply this to your” if only” type statements and you will see what needs to happen. So for example “If only I was younger” you cannot make yourself younger, but why is your age stopping you? If it’s because you wish to enter a completion for under 18yr olds and you are 30 then sorry you have just realised your dream is not humanly possible. It needs to be moderated to accommodate this- can you find a competition for your age group? Maybe you are not the only one, you could look into starting your own. If it’s because you think that your dream will just be harder due to your age as most are younger then counter that argument in your head with what you have that’s better than the younger age group, experience? Maybe you are more level headed?
So basically the questions you need to answer for each “if only” are: Can I change it? Do I need to change It? What are the alternative solutions?
Step 6 – Get to work on living your dream
This is where the real hard work starts, hopefully by now you really believe living your dream is possible. You have now taken the first steps to making it a reality.
You now have a clear list of manageable tasks to take on. At times completing one task will automatically lead onto making another easier to achieve. There will also be times where additional obstacles will present themselves. When this does happen- and it will, that these obstacles were there all along it’s just that you didn’t see them. Your dream is not any further away than it was before this latest obstacle showed itself.
Personally I try to look at each obstacle as a learning opportunity. Each and every time you overcome an obstacle you gain some knowledge that you will be able to use at some time in the future. It will also boost your confidence in your ability to combat further obstacles down the line.
A great example of this is when I was setting up Rafaelle, before it went live. I had absolutely no previous experience in building a website. However, I had to teach myself as I did not have the money to pay anyone else to build it. One day I was working on it (I had spent many, many hours working on it up to this point) and it “broke”. I could no longer access my product pages or a couple of other pages and showed error messages that made absolutely no sense to me.
My first reaction was to panic- I was close to tears and had zero idea what to do. I was scared that if I tried to fix it I would break it further and I thought I had lost weeks of work and even if I started again what would stop this from happening again?
I stopped, took a deep breath and went over in my head what I had done in the previous 15 min before I noticed I could get into certain sections. Suddenly I realised I had updated a lot of my plugins en-masse. But now what? What do I do if this is the cause of the problem? Even though I now had a good idea what the cause of this issue is I still have no idea how or even if it can be fixed. Again, took another deep breath and went through every YouTube video and article I could find online about this- mostly only understanding about 50% of what was said in any of them at best.
So decided to take a bit of a leap of faith. I deactivated each of the plugins one at a time then test if the issue was fixed. I had no guarantee that this would not further break my site, but did not having a better option. After what felt like forever, but in reality was probably a few minutes, I found the offending plugin. I decided I could live without it and deleted it permanently, reactivated the rest and my site was fixed!!
From this I have now learnt to update plugins one at a time. If there was a repeat I now know how to quickly and easily fix it. I am grateful for this all happening before the Rafaelle became live. I am also grateful to have learnt how to deal with this issue if it occurs in the future. It also gave me a big boost in confidence in my ability to deal with issues on my website.
Step 7 –Don’t Stop
All that is required now is for you to keep going, putting one foot in front of the other. Whenever you feel like giving up take a look at your vision sheet you created in step 3. Sometimes it’s hard to stay motivated. It can be easy to think you haven’t moved forwards when you take tiny steps. Keeping a progress diary can really help with this. The diary encourages you to record what you have achieved each day, you can look back and see how far you have come.
Sounds simple doesn’t it- it’s not, it will take time, perseverance, strong will, tears, tantrums and a mega amount of determination- you just need to decide whether or not your dream is worth it. It can be a lonely experience at times. You will have many ups and downs, however the ups are massive and totally wipe the all the negatives into oblivion!!
There will be days when it appears that everything you have worked for has come crashing down around you. You will feel that your dream is no longer possible. When this happens, take a breathe, realise everything happens for a reason and move forwards within the new circumstances you find yourself in. The path to living your dream is never straight. As you keep going and are open to the lessons being offered there is so much to be learnt.
In all of this I haven’t said what my dream is. It’s to start a spiritual centre where people can come to for healing and to learn about and experience the many different forms of mediumship. For mediums to have the opportunity to both demonstrate and develop there. A holistic shop and reference library for the public to access. A place experts in consciousness and afterlife studies can share their knowledge and findings with interested parties and a scheme in place to assist with the funding of further research.
I have a long way to go before my dream is realised, but I know it will be. My obstacles are varied and at times extremely challenging, I am pretty much never in my comfort zone anymore and am constantly thinking about 10 steps ahead. I live my dream (and actually dream it too quite a bit)!! I do have times when I want a “normal” life and if I gave up on my dream my life would actually be quite easy these days, but where would be the fun in that!!
One of my first steps was to create myself an income. This would need to support me and if possible enable me to make connections with similar minded people. My solution was to start an online business selling healing crystals. So in August 2018 Rafaelle was opened, please check it out and let me know what you think.
I would wish you luck, but sadly luck will only get you so far. Instead I send you all a boost of passion, inspiration and self-belief, these will get you through the toughest times.
I hope this post has inspired you to take those first few steps towards living your dream, whatever that may be. Please share how you are getting on in the comments section; I would love to hear from you.